Shimjockey

After taking the gamble(s) and losing dearly, we are now faced with losing our home and moving into a smaller rental that we have leased. It’s been tough, but we don’t blame anybody or the economy, even though my business came to an end in late 08. We just didn’t play our cards right!

We are now faced with letting go of many a saved treasure from a 40 year old marriage, but it also brings up many a discussion on almost every item that’s facing either the charity box or be loaded on the moving truck. One has to consider the male idea of being ready to lift off at any minute or your counterpart’s idea of being well situated with all of their creature comforts, a very difficult balance to achieve. 

I know we have had a great time building up a nest egg, not of cash or investments, never could get behind that idea for some reason. This is more about  one of memorabilia, things that money can’t buy, that’s according to one source I know, Hmm?  Every-thing’s a collectible if you can find the right collector and we both are that, but of different persuasions.

Memories are a precious thing if they are about good childhood experiences or that special pet, many of you may look back and feel like you’ve had a passel of those, or  maybe a book you so dearly love?  But this collecting stuff can border on hoarding. Here’s some interesting facts that link the whole activity to us and the animal kingdom as well. Let’s let my friend Wiki tell us some of the facts.

“Hoarding and caching are common behaviors in many bird species as well as in rodents. Most animal caches are of food. However, some birds will also stingily collect other items, especially if the birds are pets. Magpies are famous for hoarding items such as money and jewelry, although research suggests they are no more attracted to shiny things than other kinds of items”.

I know you may think those birds and rodents have some strange habits, but some of us humans do too, please read on.

“While there is no clear definition of compulsive hoarding in accepted diagnostic criteria (such as the current DSM), Frost and Hartl (1996) provide the following defining features:^[3]“

• The acquisition of, and failure to discard, a large number of possessions that appear to be useless or of limited value
• Living spaces sufficiently cluttered so as to preclude activities for which those spaces were designed
• Significant distress or impairment in functioning caused by the hoarding
• Reluctance or inability to return borrowed items; as boundaries blur, impulsive acquisitiveness could sometimes lead to stealing or kleptomania. The hoarder may believe that the hoarded items are very valuable, or know that the accumulated items are useless but keep them anyway, or attach a strong personal value to items which other people claim would have little or no value. A hoarder of the first kind may show off a cutlery set claiming it to be made of silver and mother-of-pearl, disregarding the fact that the packaging clearly states the cutlery is made of steel and plastic.A hoarder of the second type may have a refrigerator filled with uneaten food items months past their expiration dates, but in some cases vehemently resists any attempts by relatives to dispose of the unusable food. In other cases, the hoarder will recognize the need to clean the refrigerator but due (in part) to feelings that doing so would be an exercise in futility, and overwhelmed by the similar condition of the rest of their living space, fails to do so.Hoarders of the third type often keep “collections” as a hobby. Dolls, toy soldiers, obsolete road maps, clothes, rusty tools, non-functional sewing machines.
  I don’t know about you, but I sure am happy I don’t have their problem? Though , I do have peculiar issues, I must admit. While I spend these days boxing up stuff, I do have to wonder, will she ever use this stuff up and will I ever let go of this junk I’ve drug around with us for the last 40 years?

 The upside is the “Tantalizing Goodies” one can find when forgotten stuff is unearthed. I could have sworn some of it has been drug from the original location we started out together to each of the 11 or 12 places we have lived. That’s somewhat sick! I’ve even found myself taking charge and making deals like, “You can keep that one, if you give up two of those.” Like I have room to dictate, with my garage full of multiples of the same tools and not 1-5 gallon bucket of thisnthat, but maybe 10 or more!

I know, I know, I am one sick puppy.

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I hope the rest of the world is not as obsessed with choices like we are here in America.

I’m sure on a whole, they’re not when you consider the conditions of poverty and food shortages in so many parts of the world. It’s all the more guilt laden one feels walking through a typical grocery store.

Jees, what in the world is happening to us? I’m talking into my recorder as I walked the grocery store this week and did  double takes on so many of the areas where my list led me.  Do we become privileged and spoiled once we enter a modern grocery store? The abundance is down right embarrassing! Don’t get me wrong, I like choice as much as the next person, but some of this borders on super-indulgence, doesn’t it? Well, we only have so much time and soo much to take a look at, so let’s get started. Hmm, faced with a choice right off the bat, is it small cart, basket or biggum cart? I usually go small, it’s subliminal by them to give us the idea we’re downsizing and buying a little less, but once past the checkout stand and even when approaching it, we know, uh huh, uh huh, we should have just used the big one, quit fooling ourselves. I like to start in the produce section, very little there that needs refrigeration, so let’s take a  look. MY God, I think we’re somehow in the Garden of Eden. Screw the list, this is going to be fun! I do have to ask myself though, do I really need this many decisions facing me every foot of the way? This could take a good hour to shop, is that what they’re hoping for too? I like apples, but don’t need 7 or more varieties. I’m looking over this area and it’s beautiful, but there are fruits from places in the world I have never even heard of. Focus man, Focus on what you need! This brings up a major question in my mind, this orgasm, I mean organic fetish that is going on, Why do I feel like our non-organic produce is so bad. If it’s not good for us, then why is a good 90% of this section of the store selling it? What is in or not in the non stuff that the other has, and then I wonder if it’s just dribble, another way to get us to spend more. Someone knows! Well, I got to get what I needed and have to keep moving. Rounding the corner is the milk area against the wall, Oh no, another organic funk is coming, some of the milk is either that or not, and the price for organic in either glass or cardboard cartons  is $3 bucks for a 1/2 gal or 2 bucks for a gallon of the non. C’mon $6 bucks a gallon for milk, no way?

Eggs, same gig, a crazy egg of all things. this can’t be. I’m gonna close my eyes and just grab a dozen and hope for the best come breakfast time. Chips and cookies and crackers, wow nothing but a bunch of different kinds, shapes and sizes, too much for me. I can pass this aisle easily.

I will go get me some toothpaste and shampoo and then onto the other needed stuff on my list. Hmm again, can teeth need all of this attention? I just want to get the goobers out of them after eating, don’t think that much about  sparkles or tar beaters, hell, just grab one. Well, here we go again, moisture adding shampoo, for dry hair shampoo, for colored hair. This is really nutty and   probably very little difference from one to the next. Better grab a toothbrush while I’m in this aisle, no-no-no!!, close your eyes and just grab, feeling pretty stupid on this whole shopping thing.

  Got to get butt-wipe and some paper towels.Huh? A  single, a 4- pack, 6-pack or a 12-pack, cuddly or mega-roll, Charming or King Charles, my my, I never. Who thinks this stuff up, move on man!

I don’t eat dry cereal, unless oatmeal is considered one? Of course it is, but regardless, something is out of whack or we are out to lunch, take your pick. Here’s some facts for you to think about.

Location as irony — Battle Creek, Michigan-based Kellogg Company is in a constant battle for the #1 spot in the US cereal market with its main rival, General Mills. (General Mills’ fiscal 2010 sales totaled about $14.8 billion, compared to Kellogg’s second place $12.4 billion.) But Kellogg boasts many a familiar brand name, including Kellogg’s Corn Flakes, Frosted Flakes, Corn Pops, and Rice Krispies. And while the company fills many a cereal bowl every morning, it puffs up its bottom line with snacks and cookies (Keebler, Cheez-It, and Famous Amos), along with convenience foods such as Eggo waffles and Nutri-Grain and Bear Naked cereal bars. Its products are sold in more than 180 countries worldwide.

.I don’t have small children and hope to God no one eats that crap, it’s a pathetic waste of space and also a waste of the food reserves in my opinion, even though I ate it religiously up till a few years ago. So I better settle my jets before I get on my soapbox.

I need to cut this trip short and get me some hamburger and beer, then get the heck out of here. I am better off letting the old lady do this like usual. Are you serious! This is amazing! This must be a little slice of Heaven! Every conceivable kind of alcohol know to mankind, sure wish they had a tasting room with a big-screen TV playing the games. I know it seemed crazy back there, but when you get to thinking about it, we work hard, well some do, and we deserve to have choices! I think I’ve seen the light!

I know I can rant and  rave, make little sense in between, I know all of that. Do we need all the choices that we seem to be faced with. It’s just not groceries, it’s everything we consume. I used to tell My wife to just look at me as if I was a “cow in the field” after she had just cooked a great meal and was looking for, Hmm, maybe a compliment. What a thick headed boot I can be. I know we all have our likes and dislikes, right down to the nitty gritties of grocery shopping. When though is enough, enough? Sure am glad I found me beers!.

     Let’s start with just a little history to get our feet wet here. In the old days people would put cloth over an injured part of the body to make it better by keeping the spirit in and prevent the pain from spreading to another part of the body. You think about that for a second or two!

Fast forward a bit further, in my mother’s day a string was tied around your finger to keep the “thought” alive until it was needed for you to remember.

Another belief is called “rubyrikki”, the concept of a string around the index  finger is for luck. Regardless, I know that at some time in our lives each one of us forgets something. Forgetting to do what is right or just forgetting to take out the garbage, we can all use a reminder about those things.

Some of you have busy lives and find it tough to remember all the things you need to get done; pick up the stuff from the dry cleaners, don’t forget to get the car serviced, my nails need paint and don’t forget to pick up the kids,  Oh My!

My hats off to those of you with such busy lives. I have issues that some men and possibly a lady or two deal with every stinking day of their lives. For right now I’ll try and deal with my issues and then I’ll let you come in to my party later.

I know I’m a bit slow on things and I also know it takes me a long time to learn a lesson in life. Why, you might ask? Damn good question, glad you asked! I think it has to do with not paying attention to “the little things” in life for one. For instance the queerish look I get from my wife when I’m doing something I know I shouldn’t, or that all too common aggravated look from her and others when I’m doing something very stupid. A little message is being sent, why don’t………. I  GET IT?

I can’t help but think I need to be reminded way too often concerning things that have plagued me most of my adult life, most likely way earlier. I need to actively impress upon myself the need to change my ways. In those”good old days” it was an accepted practice to tie a small string around a finger, maybe two?  I know it would look silly, but someone low on the uptake,  has to start from 
somewhere.

It won’t make any fashion statement to go around with some stupid string around a few fingers either. I know, I know, one or two has now grown to a few, How stupid is this guy you might wonder? Well I’m not as sharp as I thought I was, to be sure, but I think I’m onto something big here, so quit picking on me!

If I start off my day with, yes, multiple reminders like; before getting on the road in “My Car”, remember that you are not the only vehicle on the road. Yes, someone will get behind you impatiently following too close or will cut in front of you, may honk their horn, might even use one of those finger gestures,, Good grief!

I think you get the picture, once in a vehicle so many things can happen that will piss us off. Well, move onto the waiting line for your first cup of whatever, they’re slow, they’re talking with the customer too much, on and on it can go and I’m starting to    –   STOP!    Take a good look at myself and how I’m acting. What’s the ultimate reminder? I am not the “only person” on planet Earth. Another one is:.   Get over Thyself!  Yep, it’s scripture!

Our time on earth is relatively short when you stop and consider how it all typically works out. Is getting our panties in a bunch over the drillions of scenarios worth all the energy and drama? I’m including you in this picture too, unless you’ve reached enlightenment or nirvana recently, you’re in the mix. You might be  miles past my present state, but I’m sure you might need a string on a finger or two or more?

The great thing about this concept is, first you will humble yourself with the strings. Lord knows we don’t like to look stupid. Second and this is important because it takes longer for some of us (me) to GET IT,  Once you get things implemented in your daily life, lose the string and give yourself Kudos! That earlier behavior is now in the past, history, finito!

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling better already and I haven’t done squat yet!

“Love all, Trust a few, Do Wrong to None”~William Shakespeare

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I know what you’re wondering. What in the Wide World of Sports is a “Shimjockey”?  Many years ago my wife caught me in the garage unloading a pallet of shims that were delivered in our driveway.

They happen to be an integral part of installing doors&cabinets as well as many other uses in getting things true, plumb and level. And you thought those were a “state of mind”, but when used correctly they keep your doors shutting tight and your cabinets from settling.

While unloading the shims she exited with this parting shot, “You are such a Shimjockey”. It stuck and won’t let go of me. Many of you might use cedar panels in your closets for the scent or your drawers have a cedar lining, but we settled for a fragrant cedar smelling garage..

I prefer to be just as tolerant and law-abiding as the next person, but there comes a time when being law abiding and tolerant just plain doesn’t cut it. I love dogs and neighbors, just about equally and I hate barking dogs and neighbors who own barking dogs, just about the same. Hate might be a bit harsh because I love dogs and my neighbors, but since there seems to be some parity in these equations, a simple answer should be available?

   

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Do Bike Cyclist  belong on the Road?

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I have nothing but respect for the men and women who serve in the armed forces, regardless of the war. There have  have been many times when I wished that I had done something different, but I can’t turn back the clock. To quote a very influential philosopher from our era, “It is what it is”.

   In Yakima in the late 60’s on North 7th ave. ( I think) was “The Open Door”, a drug, draft and vocational counseling center, sounds pretty high- falootin, for an old house filled with hippies, but it was a great place to get info in perilous times. And living in a place where alternative ideas were not common, it felt like you had left it all behind. Soon after  I began scheming up an idea of trying to run away to Canada with a classmate who was a dual citizen from there. Being only 15 required more organization than I possessed, but the gears were turning. Walking back and forth from the guys home I spotted the get-a-way car! There it was, in all it’s glory, a 1953 Austin of England, very similar to a miniature Bonny and Clyde car, with the rumble seat protrusion in the rear, turn signals in the side of the car that extended out and blinked when turning a corner. It was a very cool car! Price $35.00! Sold! I had the money and bought it the next day.

   While working in the Franklin JR. High Library as a teacher’s aide one of the more challenging parts of the job was to put the different newspapers onto the bamboo rods. I enjoyed that part till a day early that year when I looked on the front page. There listed were the lottery/draft date numbers, mine was there in all it’s splendor, March 6th, 1953—–#1. what the #@&**@??!!!, I had to do a double take, this can’t be, but it was. Shortly after that I received my letter, I was sick, it was notifying me I was being drafted. It gave me the time and date for the physical in Seattle on Admiral Way. It was time for more scheming and it had to be good!

They wanted a few good men and damn, I wasn’t one of  them!!

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